Most educators have had students who push the limits in regard to
needing help with assignments, skills, and/or personal issues. Teachers
tend to be caring, compassionate people with “rescuer” tendencies, so
they can easily be overwhelmed by these students. For example, you may
have an individual in a class who constantly wants to reply to
questions, dominate discussions, get your undivided attention on the
progress of their assignment, etc., or you may have students who want to
pull you aside to share their latest personal crisis and seek your
advice. Perhaps the most awkward example is a student with some
reasonable accommodations who tries to push these well beyond their
intent.
So what is a caring teacher to do? This post should help.
The 90/10 Rule
Dr. Mary McKinney stated the larger context of this issue well when she labeled this the 90/10 Rule
(2003). McKinney explains that often people will talk about how 80% of
the stress in our lives comes from only 20% of our problems (2003). This
is also known as the Pareto Principle
after Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto who noticed that 80/20 splits
are common in human culture, and relationship expert Dr. Adam Sheck
explains that this does apply to our relationships (18 January, 2011).
McKinney, however, explains that when it comes to the relationship
between needy students and teachers, the rule narrows to 90/10, meaning
that 90% of a teacher’s stress derives from 10% of the
students—specifically, these needy, disruptive students.
Most of us in education would probably agree and add the frustration
that this 10% takes up the largest portion of our time and energy.
Beyond the actual interaction with these students, there may be forms to
complete, resources to find, meetings to attend, etc. Many of us at
times also feel unprepared and untrained to deal with some of the issues
needy students present. For instance, most of us do not hold
credentials in mental health counseling to assist a student who we
suspect may benefit from that sort of assistance.
Sheck does offer the start of a solution. He points out that in these
situations, people—in this case teachers—need to pick their battles
wisely (18 January, 2011). We may not be able to change a needy,
disruptive student, but we can certainly choose the most stressful
behavior, make recommendations to the student, and hold him or her to
it, for instance.
Ideally, however, we could prevent these situations from occurring in the first place. An Ounce of Prevention
There are some steps faculty should take prior to and at the start of each class; these should then be maintained throughout the semester.
• Be Prepared: One way to reduce the incidence of disruptions from attention-seeking students is to plan a class that is well managed and engaging for students while setting up boundaries on your time. For instance, McKinney suggests not being available to students 24/7; rather set up clear policies for how you handle email and other communication (e.g., only during office hours) (2003). She also suggests establishing clear policies about late papers and missed exams (2003). I would add that you should consider expanding these policies to include other expectations including classroom behavior and interaction; however, do so only within the guidelines of your institution as some do not allow faculty to make any changes to a standard syllabus. Likewise, focus on creating assignments and activities that will keep students actively interested and engaged. Generally, making the course content relevant to students’ lives is a good place to start. McKinney mentions not over-preparing for lessons as this can become an endless pursuit of perfectionism: “Allow yourself to teach a ‘good enough’ class” the first time through; then build upon it each semester as you receive both solicited and unsolicited feedback from students (2003). I would add that being a bit flexible with how you approach a lesson based on the day’s context can sometimes result in a better learning experience.
• Be Vigilant: Educators often watch for incidents of
cheating, students who appear confused on an assignment, and other such
issues that may interfere with their learning. Therefore, observe the
behavior of students during the first few days of class. The needy
students typically make themselves known early on, so address the
behavior the moment it happens. For example, if a student wants to be
the center of attention by responding to all of your questions, politely
ask them to allow someone else to have a turn; then don’t acknowledge
the interrupting student. Also, speak with him/her privately after class
with a positive tone and try to redirect the behavior. As a department
chair, I would say that almost all of the student issues that were
referred to me could have been prevented had faculty responded from the
moment a needy student issue arose.
Realistically, we know that not all student situations can be prevented. What can you do when issues occur?A Pound of Cure
McKinney (2003) quite rightly suggests being fully aware of what campus resources exist and how to refer students to them: counseling and psychological, health, academic, and disability services; staff and administrative support; and even transportation information and security. Sometimes students will offer you information on their situation that is helpful to retain for the future. I once had a student hand me a small laminated poster on different types of seizures and how to respond; I carried that in my classroom notebook for a few years. Also, don’t be afraid to reach out to these resources. Sometimes faculty feel as if it may reflect badly upon them to refer a student to an academic center or to review a situation with their department chair. The opposite is true: Academic centers want to assist and your supervisor will be glad to see you are taking action to address an issue rather than letting it intensify.
McKinney (2003) also suggests setting a limit on how much time you
will spend with a needy student because it is unfair to your other
students to let one dominate your time. I used to place a signup sheet
on my office door for students to sign up for 15-minute blocks of time;
this helped most focus on what they needed to discuss with me, and it
gave me a way to end a needy student’s intrusion upon my time. Do be
cautious with this, however. To avoid any issues with privacy laws, I
would suggest providing students with a random number or something to
protect their identity. The signup sheet could also be digital (e.g., a
shared document in Google Docs) to limit viewers. The reason for the
appointment should never be listed. With these pre-established time
limits, you could bring closure to a conversation with a referral to
other resources.
The most difficult and probably the most frequently given piece of
advice is to avoid letting the student draw you into their mess. You are
providing them with the quality classroom experience they signed up
for; you’ve shared some relevant resources. You are not responsible for
providing advice on their personal lives; you do not need to give them a
ride to and from campus; and you certainly do not need to hand over the
management of your class to a needy student. McKinney (2003) suggests
learning to be respectful, professional, calm, and in control during
even the most difficult student exchanges. This is not easy, but
frequently this approach along with some redirection works to diffuse a
needy student. I would also suggest debriefing yourself after a
difficult student situation by venting to a colleague or consulting with
your supervisor.
Overall, these common sense tips can help when faced with needy
students. Keep in mind that just because you care and want your students
to succeed, you do not have to turn yourself into a martyr for their
cause. Remember, too, that by adhering to the above, you are being a
good role model to your students and providing them with the tools that
can help them become less needy in the future.
